WARNING: This one has some very intense cursing in it, as well as just plain inappropriate sentences. I have edited it at some parts, but at others there's just no way to get around the graphic imagery. You have been warned.
Yarp: Huh. Apparently How to Train your Dragon is a good film. Mainly because, although it is simple, they say it still manages to be extremely entertaining.
Shade: I read the book. It was really good. I don't know how the movie would manage it, though.
Shade: The book was written as an autobiography/manual explaining how this viking guy learned to tame dragons, and how you could do the same.
Shade: I dunno, Seems like they're focussing on the story as opposed to the training part.
Shade: Might be good, but I thought the funny part of the book was how it was a manual.
Shade: Dunno. Either way I'm not too interested in seeing it. If the kids like it, good for them.
Shade: *shrug*
Yarp: Meh. At least it looks better than the movie adaption of Guardians of Gahool.
Shade: D:
Shade: They're doing/did that?
Yarp: YES.
Shade: Sorry, I think I'm hemoragging.
Shade: as is may hspelling
Yarp: I HAVE BEEN FOR MULTIPLE DAYS.
Shade: THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD SERIES
Shade: NO
Shade: DON'T RAPE IT HOLLYWOOD
Shade: DON'T DESTROY MY CHILDHOOD
Yarp: Oh, here's another thing that will make you feel even worse about it.
Shade: Oh god.
Shade: It's 3d, right?
Shade: They're doing 3d, aren't they.
Yarp: It was directed by the person who directed...
Yarp: Happy Feet.
Shade: F[RA]CK
Shade: F[RA]CK F[RA]CK F[RA]CK F[RA]CK F[RA]CK F[RA]CK F[RA]CK
Shade: F[RA]CKING C[OAL]SUCKING MUTHAF[RA]CKING [HORRIBLE]SONS
Yarp: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/dor/objects/14246936/10012238-legend_of_the_guardians/videos/lotg_trlr_030710.html
Shade: Okay, NO. That misses the point ENTIRELY.
Shade: Oh god. No.
Shade: No.
Shade: Oh god.
Shade: No, I am gonna- wait that actualy doesn't look too- F[RA]CK
Shade: NO
Shade: F[RA]CK
Shade: YOU SHOULD'VE STAYED WITH THE EPIC NARRATION
Shade: THAT WAS AWESOME
Shade: NOW YOU'VE JUST F[RA]CKED IT UP
Shade: YOUR DOING IT
Shade: your making it hapen IN THE COMPLETELY WRONG WAY
Shade: AND CUT THAT F[RA]CKING AWFUL POP MUSIC
Shade: THIS IS TERRIBLE
Shade: I THINK MY BALLS ARE TRYING TO CHOKE ME
Shade: THIS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE
Yarp: Also. IT"S IN 3D
Shade: MY LUNGS ARE COUGHING UP VILE HATE AND HORRID MISFORTUNE
Shade: Okay, I'm gonna try something here.
Shade: I'm gonna mute the volume and play some epic music.
Shade: Cause you know what?
Shade: From what I'm seeing, it... COULD work. BUT IT WON'T.
Shade: Literally from the images I'm seeing it doesn't look too bad, BUT WHAT I HEAR AND THE COMPOSITION MAKES ME WISH TO COMMIT HOMICIDE
Shade: Okay.
Shade: Wow.
Shade: No, really, I don't even have the music well-synched, but a random epic music track makes it actually look decent.
Yarp: You know what? I think these next few years, Hollywood will rape all of our childhoods. Early nineties books and shows. Into awful movies.
Yarp: Like the way they raped children of the 70's and eighties with GI Joe and Transformers.
Shade: I want to cry but my body is using what would be tears to drown myself.
Yarp: Whoah, not raped children.
Shade: No, they did.
Shade: It should legally count as rape.
Yarp: Raped the children of the 70's and 80's childhood.
Shade: They retroactively raped them.
Shade: They literally got hollywood's giant cock rammed down their tender young throats.
Yarp: Now they are moving on to beloved childhood shows like Avatar: The Last Airbender, and books that were popular when we were kids.
Shade: Oh f[ra]ck.
Shade: They're gonna do Redwall, aren't they? D:
Yarp: No, god no.
Yarp: Someone will hear you!
Yarp: Somewhere, they are talking this over.
Shade: BAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW
Shade: You know what, I am gonna buy this gahool movie, just so I can recut the entire thing as an actually good one.
Shade: And if what the trailer shows is how the movie is, it actually won't be hard.
Yarp: "Think about it guys! Bell falling on Cluny, but the 3D makes it look like it's falling AT YOU!" Everyone else: "It smells like money!"
Shade: D:
Shade: My eyes are trying to gouge themselves out.
Yarp: It's like I can read hollywood's mind.
Shade: IT'S LIKE ANYONE CAN.
Shade: JUST INSERT "STUPID MONEYMAKING S[TUFF]" INTO A SENTENCE AND YOU'VE GOT IT
Shade: F[ra]ck.
Yarp: Man, we're going to get CGI medieval mice shlong shoved down our throats, let's say, two years from now.
Shade: I'm almost crying but unfortunately I'm too much of a battle-hardened badass for that.
Yarp: Thankfully, deepthroating that will be easier after this catastrophic child-raping of a year for film.
Yarp: I have to set the table.
Shade: Kay.
Shade: Try not to stab yourself to death in the process.
Shade: I've got noodles tonight, and we're using spoons, BUT BELIEVE ME I WILL HAVE TO RESIST THE URGE
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