Monday, 11 July 2011

No I won't see The End: F.E.A.R. (Review)

America comes up too much in my reviews. I honestly don't have a major problem with the US of A or anything, it just seems like they make a lot of bad choices. F.E.A.R. is one of those, in terms of story. I can summarize it in a simple cliche: The army has military contracts that go sour. Big surprise, yeah? It's funny, you never see Canadian military contracts get screwed up badly in these games. It always seems to be the Americans who summon demon-spawn ghost children with their psychic generals.

Uhm... that's pretty much the plot of F.E.A.R. from what I played. A psychic general who controls a bunch of drone army clones somehow also summons a demon-spawn ghost child, and you have to go kill them all.

This is actually a surprisingly boring one.

Sunday, 19 June 2011

No I won't see The End: Assassin's Creed II (Review)

So today I did something I've been meaning to do for a while. I got Steam working again. After a nasty bout of disagreement with my sound card, Steam decided to stop locking up my computer and let me play my games. I played Audiosurf for a while, then looked through my backlog to see what I should start next. I went to install F.E.A.R. and saw it was a large install, so I should free up some space. Clicking through my games, I decided what I wanted to keep installed cause I may play soon, and what I could do without.

And then, while F.E.A.R. began to download, I uninstalled Assassin's Creed II just for the hell of it.

Don't worry, I wasted less time with that story than this game would.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Hilariparenting #2: Programmer

As a programmer, it makes sense to raise one's kids on Linux. Not cause Linux is superior or anything. But because it's incredibly easy to screw with while they're away.

So they break a vase? Well I guess this Xorg package isn't really necessary.
Broke a window? Write a script that inverts their mouse movements randomly.
Cursed? Write a proxy that redirects all links to

Fun part: Refuse to fix the problem, they have to themselves.
Fun part: Claim it's karma. Deny all involvement.
Fun part: They become paranoid of the karma fairy.
Fun part: They start antagonizing all computers.

Down side: At age 10, realizes it really is you.
Down side: At age 17, they're hacking NORAD.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Hilariparenting #1: Daryl is a Dick

Now I know you're thinking I'm a little harsh, but come on, Daryl really is an ass. Screw that guy.

Sunday, 23 January 2011

Review: TRON Legacy

First off, I'm not really one to hate movies. Even the fabled Star Wars prequels never really gets beyond distaste and disappointment. That's why I was a little vexed when I saw TRON Legacy and... hated it.